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Helping businesses deal with the ascendance of bullies

By Leon Gettler, Talking Business >>

THERE ARE bullies everywhere. Whether in business, on the street, on the roads, you’ll always find them,

Why is this happening?

Personality expert Bill Eddy, the co-founder and director of innovation at the High Conflict Institute in the United States put it down to two main reasons.

First, it was the pandemic.

But second, it’s because of social media which has “shown people images of bullying over and over again all over the world”.

“Bullies are becoming role models for what gets attention. Also, social media has helped bullies find each other and encourage each other rather than discouraging each other the way community standards do,” Mr Eddy told Talking Business.

“So with social media, anybody can find their group that reinforces them being nasty. 

“We often get people who are the most aggressive, most self-centred are very comfortable with social media and putting themselves out there.”

“I think our screens in general – with the news on TV, movies, drama, seeing images of bullying gets a lot of attention – and so we’re getting shown those images more than ever before and then people are copying those images.”

Imbalance in online hostilities

Mr Eddy said while most of us don’t get hostile online, the people who are already hostile in person are getting more attention and are louder online. Reasonable people drop out of those conversations early on.

He said businesses are not prepared to handle bullies.

“People will often hope that things will settle down and the person will come to their senses but that’s not how bullies work,” Mr Eddy said.

“It’s part of their personality and that’s what seems to keep it going.

“They don’t stop themselves. Therefore, the people around them and the organisations need to stop them.

“What I’ve found is that business waits way too long. They keep giving them chances and these people don’t change – so why keep giving them chances to do damage to the organisation?”

Institute teaches conflict resolution skills

Mr Eddy said the High Conflict Institute has developed a method of coaching which teaches conflict resolution skills. So if a company doesn’t know whether or not to sack a bullying manager, the Institute will tell them to give them some coaching to see if they can change their high conflict bullying.

“Maybe half the time, coaching does make a difference and maybe half the other time, the coaching doesn’t make a difference and people just leave or they get fired,” he said.

Mr Eddy said Steve Jobs, who founded Apple, was well known as a bully. Yet his management team was able to set limits on him.

“You need to have restraints and if you surround the person with reasonable people, who cannot take personally what the bully does, then you may be able to help them succeed,” he said.

Mr Eddy said there was a higher proportion of bullies in law firms – as well as in the police force and in healthcare, ministry and counselling services.

“One thing I think we see is that every profession has some of these and people tend to protect their own,” he said.

“That’s not a good thing. You shouldn’t be protecting the bullies in your profession or your whole profession gets a bad name.” 

www.highconflictinstitute.com

www.leongettler.com


Hear the complete interview and catch up with other topical business news on Leon Gettler’s Talking Business podcast, released every Friday at www.acast.com/talkingbusiness

https://shows.acast.com/talkingbusiness/episodes/talking-business-18-interview-with-bill-eddy-from-the-high-p


 

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