BOTTOMLINE is not sure whether this hotel brochure text presented to us is genuine or not … but we have discovered other genuine brochures that rival it for gentle ribaldry.
So we’ll give it the benefit of the doubt and present you with this cheery hotel brochure text from, apparently, a city in China. We think you will agree that it achieves its marketing objectives – how could you help but have an enjoyable (and even rollicking) stay? And you will certainly tell your friends.
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! … You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.
THE best business ideas just seem to roll in to the Bottomline office on a daily basis, thanks to our extensive and thorough e-mail R&D (that’s Reply and Destroy your business) division.
Check out this exceptional offer – that is, an offer to take exception with – from the ever-innovative John Klok, an IT developer who is clearly part of the giant G-Mail organisation?
Subject: :: Your Website/Mobile Work
Hey – Good Day,
This message is to shake your hand with some big business breaks that are ruling the current market picture. Yes it’s right!
With the completion of 5 Years in IT & Software businesses we can share some big business breaks with you ...
We are famous for developing REPLICA for some Big Names similar to: UBER, AirBNB, CrowdFunding, Tinder, Amazon and much more...
If your interests lie, we can deliver the clone for :
Replica of UBER : (Mobile app + Website)
Replica Of AirBNB : (Mobile app + Website)
Replica of Ditto : (Mobile app + Website)
Replica Of Amazon : (Mobile app + Website)
Replica of Food Panda : (Mobile app + Website)
Replica of ETSY : (Mobile app + Website)
Replica of Kickstarter : (Mobile app + Website)
Replica of Tinder : (Mobile app + Website)
Replica of FANCY : (Mobile app + Website) and Much More…..
Hence, if you are questioning for big business opportunity then we are just an email away... Just email me back and be the owner of these platforms in few days.
Note: We can vary the UI if your requirement is similar to upstairs mentioned or ask for more …
We also deal in:
Website Design and Developments
Web/Mobile Apps Developments
Search Engine Optimization
Website Content Writing etc………….
We hope we did not take too much of your time. If you are interested in this great deal, please Skype me at Blowsons
We would be more than happy to answer any questions.
In Your Success
Note: If you don’t want any future email from us, please reply with “Unsubscribe”.
Bottomline would now like to show you our eloquent reply to John Klok's e-mail but ... there wasn't one.